Law enforcement has changed dramatically over the years. We’ve had detectives, SWAT teams, highway patrol officers, private investigators and every conceivable variation of fictional cop imaginable.
Apparently, nobody had adequately addressed the threat of uncontrolled urination.
Enter Piss Patrol.
With a title that sounds like either a bargain-bin action movie or a public-service announcement produced by a very angry elementary school teacher, Piss Patrol wastes absolutely no time establishing that you’re not watching ordinary cinema. This is a movie that takes the concept of policing and steers it directly into the gutter, then apparently keeps driving.
The premise is exactly the sort of thing that makes you wonder how a screenplay gets from someone’s brain onto an actual production schedule. Somewhere, somebody had the idea for a movie called Piss Patrol. Instead of laughing and moving on, they apparently said, “Let’s make it.”
That decision is the entire spirit of the movie.
There is something wonderfully fearless about low-budget exploitation comedy. Big studios spend years developing projects, testing titles and making sure every conceivable demographic has been considered. Movies like Piss Patrol operate under a completely different philosophy:
Wouldn’t this be funny?
Yes.
Can we make it?
Apparently.
Should we?
Too late.
The film’s comedy is about as subtle as its title. If sophisticated humor is your preferred flavor, this isn’t your cup of tea. Or glass of water. Or anything else you might reasonably want to keep away from the characters involved.
The movie lives in that wonderful territory where bodily functions become plot devices and common sense becomes an endangered species.
And that’s where Piss Patrol becomes oddly entertaining.
The production clearly isn’t operating with the resources of a Hollywood blockbuster. The effects, sets and overall presentation have the unmistakable handmade quality of independent filmmaking. But trying to judge this movie against something like Mission: Impossible would be completely missing the point.
Tom Cruise isn’t going to make Piss Patrol.
That’s probably for the best.
The performances are similarly committed to the madness. The actors have to treat material that sounds completely absurd on paper as though it is perfectly legitimate dramatic business. That’s an underrated skill. Delivering a serious line in a movie with this title requires a certain level of professional courage.
You can practically imagine the audition:
“Okay, your character is part of the Piss Patrol.”
“What’s my motivation?”
“Apparently… piss.”
And then the camera rolls.
The movie’s greatest achievement is probably its refusal to become embarrassed by itself. It knows exactly what kind of audience it’s looking for. This isn’t sophisticated satire masquerading as something stupid. It’s simply a stupid idea being given the full movie treatment.
Sometimes that’s enough.
There are plenty of technically impressive movies that you’ll forget five minutes after watching them. Piss Patrol has the opposite problem.
You’re going to remember that you watched something called Piss Patrol.
You’re probably going to have to explain it to someone.
And that alone gives it a strange kind of staying power.
Is it classy? No.
Is it tasteful? Absolutely not.
Is it going to win awards for its contribution to serious cinema? Probably best not to hold your breath.
But if you’re a fan of bizarre independent movies, outrageous comedy and films that seem to exist purely because somebody was willing to follow an incredibly stupid idea all the way to the finish line, Piss Patrol has exactly the right attitude.
Final verdict: 3.5 out of 5 emergency bathroom passes.
It may not be the movie the world needed.
It may not even be the movie the world wanted.
But somebody made Piss Patrol.
And honestly, that takes a certain amount of courage.
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